There were books And there was music And everything happened Every day in exactly the same way And there were no people The word was a beautiful icicle Which never required you to respond to anything Or to change to please anyone And each day, neutrality was all one could feel And nothing hurt any … More Poem – The Autistic Gaze
Recently, I celebrated my 40th birthday. It’s an age I never thought I’d see and it’s not because I’ve led a particularly wild or dangerous life – I haven’t. People may joke about the perils of sex and drugs and rock and roll, but for me there’s been very little of the first two and … More Essay – Life Starts Here
‘Life can only be understood backwards but it must be lived forwards.’ (Soren Kirkegaard) I have undergone assessment for Autistic Spectrum Disorder (ASD) and this is part four of my diagnostic journey. You can read part three here What’s special about April 22nd? Not much, really. The 112th day of the year is the day … More All About Me (Part Four) – My ASD Diagnostic Journey
They run They make noise You hide What is worse – Attention in abundance Or none whatever? They want to help It’s burning Overwhelming Unbearable Hands stretch out – Goawayandleavemealoneforgodssake! Screams Playgrounds of stone reverberate Begone you scrabbling hands! Weekends are for recovery When games fields are dead Humans retreat And offers of aid Lie … More Poem – First Aid Kit
About people and how impossible they can be to read Walk down the corridor and – BOOM You’re dead You didn’t even get chance to realise it To cry out a comical ‘Oh shit!’ Like some character from cheap fiction Loss of life Happens too quickly Walk down a corridor and – BANG For variety … More Poem – To Escalate Quickly
I was diagnosed with autism as an adult (aged 39) on 22nd April 2021 What do you do When you’ve got it? When you have what you wanted? When you have the truth Or as best as they can figure it What do you do then When the road ends And there’s none to reconfigure … More Poem – End / Beginning
This time the questions were originally answered by Christopher Eccleston so I’ve decided to answer them myself. The prized possession you value above all others? Collectively, my library. I don’t have many keepsakes from my earlier days so I can’t really narrow it down to a particular book. The biggest regret you wish you could … More Questions – Another Questionnaire
Find your tribe Your neurodiverse tribe Or whichever tribe’s the tribe for you Then celebrate; Paint, relate or write Make pictures from the dark With the things you’ve learned Your own source of light Relate stories others will imbibe Who are also of the tribe Scribble your truths on a wall Immortalise yourself in type … More Poem – Emergence
All written to commemorate the journey towards autistic spectrum (AS) diagnosis Chaos Locked in toilet block Emotional vortex — Ask for help? You will receive it – Three years older — Answers to question – Who am I? Assessor moves gradually — Am I autistic? I say yes; Do they say the same?
I can hardly blame them Could – but won’t – For who could find it in their heart To ever censure? As they flit from fire to fire Engaging and entrancing others You can’t do it; this you know The door through which they step so easily Is forever closed to you; Never mind – … More Poem – Sanguine
